Lotus Healing Haven · Inner Child Healing
Healing Isn’t Just Understanding Your Patterns —
It’s Learning What To Do When They Get Triggered.
The shift that changed everything for me wasn’t becoming perfectly healed. It was learning how to stay with myself inside the trigger.
There was a time when a triggered moment for me felt like losing myself completely.
It would start quietly.
A tone. A shift. A delayed response. A feeling that someone was upset with me, judging me, rejecting me, or pulling away from me.
And before I even fully understood what was happening, I was spiralling.
My mind would race. I would replay conversations over and over. Try to decode people. Try to figure out what I did wrong. Try to regain safety by overthinking every detail.
Sometimes it became emotional outbursts. Sometimes shutdown. Sometimes people-pleasing. Sometimes disappearing into myself completely.
“What I understand now is that my body was sounding an alarm long before my mind caught up.”
At the time, I thought I was just too emotional. Too sensitive. Too reactive.
What I understand now is that my nervous system was trying to protect me the best way it knew how.
And healing for me didn’t begin when I learned words like trauma, hypervigilance, nervous system, or self-abandonment.
Healing began when I started paying attention to the alarm instead of only reacting to it.
Free Guide · Start Here
3 Ways We Self-Abandon — a gentle free guide for the woman learning to recognize the survival patterns that taught her to leave herself behind.
Download The Free GuideAwareness Alone Doesn’t Calm the Nervous System
Understanding your patterns intellectually and knowing what to do inside the triggered moment are two very different things.
I used to immediately focus outward.
What did they mean? Why did they say that? Why does this feel so bad? Why aren’t they responding? Do they still like me? Do they believe me?
Now — even though I still get triggered — I notice my body first.
I feel it in my chest. My stomach. My jaw. My nervous system.
That awareness changed everything.
Not because I suddenly stopped getting triggered. Not because healing magically removed every wound.
But because I became proactive instead of only reactive.
Now when something catches me off guard, I slow down. I breathe. I self-talk. I console myself. I come back to my body instead of immediately spiralling into my mind.
Learning To Sit With Discomfort Changed Me
I still get triggered by rejection, harsh tones, feeling judged, feeling misunderstood, or feeling like people don’t believe me.
There are still moments where old feelings rise quickly.
But now I work through them instead of against them.
That distinction matters.
For years I treated my reactions like flaws.
Now I understand they were intelligent survival responses.
And once I stopped blaming everyone around me for how activated I felt, I finally started asking deeper questions:
“Why does this bother me so much? What part of me feels threatened right now? What old wound is this touching?”
Honestly, one of the greatest gifts healing has given me is learning how to sit in discomfort without immediately ruminating.
To stay with myself instead of abandoning myself.
That doesn’t mean the feelings disappear.
It means I no longer drown in them the way I used to.
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Download The Free GuideHealing Is Learning How To Stay
I think this is the part of healing many women are quietly craving.
Not just awareness. Not just understanding.
But support for the actual moment the nervous system gets triggered.
The moment the panic rises. The moment the spiralling starts. The moment the inner child feels unsafe again.
“Healing isn’t only about understanding why we became this way. It’s learning how to stay with ourselves when those old patterns rise to the surface.”
That is the work I’ve been doing.
And quietly… something new is coming this Thursday for the women learning how to do the same 🌸
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